Defense Base Act Compensation Blog

The Modern Day DBA Casualty

New Petition Favors Replacing Congress with SEAL Team Six

Posted by defensebaseactcomp on May 4, 2011

Elite Unit Gets Post-bin Laden Bounce

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report) – In a startling measurement of public opinion since the successful mission to kill Osama bin Laden, Americans in record numbers are signing a petition to replace Congress with SEAL Team Six, the elite unit that took out the al-Qaeda madman.

The petition echoes the results of a new poll by the University of Minnesota’s Opinion Research Institute, in which the Navy SEALS trounce Congress by a lopsided 97% to 2% margin, with the remaining 1% answering, “Superman.”

Professor Davis Logsdon of the University of Minnesota said that the numbers behind the numbers were even more striking: “By a wide margin, Americans favor SEAL Team Six landing on the Capitol building with helicopters and taking out Congress by force.”

Added Professor Logsdon, “There’s a broad consensus out there that the Navy SEALs get things done, and that they would make C-Span more fun to watch.”

News of the petition and the survey caught the attention of Secretary of the Navy Ray Mabus, who issued a strongly worded denial of rumors that SEAL Team Six were practicing maneuvers on a life-size replica of the Capitol building  constructed inside an abandoned Linen ‘n’ Things in suburban Virginia.

You may read the rest if you’d like at The Borowitz Report

One Response to “New Petition Favors Replacing Congress with SEAL Team Six”

  1. Superman said

    Don’t get too excited Seal lovers…

    Fact ! Delta with a contingent of Rangers hit the objective UBL was thought to be in.

    Fact ! Rangers set up blocking positions near Pakistani Military Academy to prevent any reinforcements

    Fact ! Delta, Rangers and Contingent of Seals hit the objective UBL was found in.

    DELTA made the kill. Seals secured the body to dump in the sea.

    Fact ! prisoners were taken.

    Fact ! Pakistani Air force launched aircraft to shoot down the Task Force.

    Fact ! USS Carl Vincent launched numerous fighter aircraft to intercept Pakistani’s resulting in the Pakistanis fleeing.

    More than 79 US Soldiers were on the ground.

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